I’ve been wanting to write something about Kony 2012, about Jason Russell, about how my heart breaks as I have seen this whole thing play out online in the past few days.  

But it’s been a big week and I am tired and Jamie has written some wonderful words, so I’m going to reblog instead.

twloha:

Jason Russell is my friend. i reached out to him a few years ago, as TWLOHA was starting to take off. i was a fan of Invisible Children and it seemed we could learn a lot from them, and i could learn a lot from him. Like IC, TWLOHA was born from a story and the surprising response to that…

While I was in Florida interning with To Write Love On Her Arms they launched the Fears vs. Dreams campaign.  A campaign that asked two questions: “What’s your biggest fear?” and “What’s your greatest dreams?”. 

It has made me think about how my own fears and dreams have changed in recent years. 

My fear for so long was to be insignificant.  I suppose it was in part from the child in me that wants to be famous; that wants to be in a band or on TV or in parliament or overseas fighting poverty.  It comes from that Christian upbringing that constantly affirmed in me that God had a plan for my life, that there were big plans in store for me; that I would leave a mark on the world, that my life would be significant.

I feared growing up into a 9-5 kind of guy who isn’t changing the world, I feared being insignificant. 

But here I am. 

And I suppose then that my dream was to be significant.  My dream was to use words to impact people, I dreamt of being quoted, I dreamt that I would have something of value to say.

My fear today is that I will find that passion, the reason, the purpose to pursue significance.  That it will be for the right reasons, but it will be too late. 

What is my dream now?  To be content with life. 

I think the longer we live we realize more and more that we know nothing.  As Don Miller so eloquently puts it “It turns out the droplet of our knowledge is a bit lost in the ocean of our unknowing.”  My dream is that I will be ok with this.  That I will find passion, reason and purpose despite the fact.  

Last year I did a speech for a group of year 12 students.  I spoke about how we are all telling stories.  I spoke about how little of life we actually remember. 

It’s amazing how much that speech has come back to me in the past 12 months.  Yes, I was giving a speech with the aim to challenge and hopefully inspire some students.  But without realizing it, I gave a speech that formed a philosophy of how I want to approach my life.  It made me accountable.  I could not possibly live a dull life because what if people found out?  I would be a liar. 

So I set about continuing to tell a good story, one that would be worth reading. 

I realized at the end of 2010 that I wanted to travel.  That I would be unsatisfied and disappointed if I went another 12 months without leaving Australia’s shores.  I also wanted to do something that I believed mattered.  I had come to uni and my faith and my beliefs had been turned on their head, so I wanted to help people, I wanted to believe that these things still mattered. 

So I went.

I left Australia’s shores and I started to explore.  I worked for a non-profit who are doing things that I believe matter.

In 2011 I read more than 30 books.  2011 was a rediscovering of the power of story.  I met people who taught me to never feel ashamed of what kinds of stories I love, people who reminded me that Harry Potter is a great story and anyone who says otherwise is probably just a pretentious twat. 

I changed in 2011.  I didn’t realize it at the time; but I changed.  And it wasn’t “where” I went that changed me.  It was simply that fact that I went.  That I left.  That I got up and walked out the door.  I changed because I took myself out of routine, out of habit, and this allowed me to look at myself from another perspective. 

So I have learnt that from time to time it is important to leave.  Important if only so that when you return you are able to see that place differently.